Vince White-Petteruti 69: Providing respite in a House of Peace

Duck and Vince White-Petteruti SJ ‘69

Vince White-Petteruti SJ ’69 has always been called to nature. Its beauty and quiet power serves as an escape for him to regroup and reflect. When he was experiencing a challenging time in college, he recalls taking a walk through the trails to clear his mind. The self-reflection he did on that week long hike eventually led him to join the Chicago chapter of the Sierra Club. Soon, Vince was asked to lead a weekend backpacking trip in Wisconsin. It was on this excursion that Vince met the love of his life, Duck. Little did they know just how instrumental the wonders of nature would prove in unveiling a life dedicated to serving others during a time when hope, compassion and love is needed most.

Throughout 1990, Vince spent several months traveling from Chicago to Cleveland to spend time with his father who was battling heart disease. Sadly, his father passed away, and Vince found himself needing a break. In December of that year, Vince and Duck planned a trip to the picturesque snow-covered mountains of Colorado. A surprise lack of snow soon changed plans for the couple eager to enjoy the winter landscape of Breckenridge. Making the best of their trip, Vince and Duck decided to go shopping instead. On their list: many acres surrounded by a forest and a lake or river. A call to a realtor later and the couple found exactly what it was looking for: 10 beautiful, forested acres with a view of Baldy Mountain. Vince and Duck had found the perfect location to enjoy their retirement when the time was right. 

In 1997, Duck’s mother became terminally ill with cancer. Together with her sisters, Duck took their mother on a much-needed respite to Vail. This trip would be their last and a moment in time that Duck and her sisters deeply cherish. Vince shares that in the final hours of his beloved mother-in-law’s life, she held the photos that were taken in Vail of her and her daughters. She passed away surrounded by family and with memories that brought her peace.

Finally, in 2001, both Vince and his wife were ready to enjoy retirement, so they headed to Breckenridge, Colorado, to begin construction on their new home. That July, Vince took a hike with his children, Nic and Sarah, only to return to find that Duck had experienced a moment of clarity. While alone, Duck spoke to God and shared with Vince she felt a calling to use their beautiful land as both their home and as a place of respite for families dealing with the harsh reality of cancer. Together, the couple contacted an architect to begin plans for their vision. 

The Domus Pacis Family Respite was opened in June of 2008. The natural beauty that surrounds Breckenridge offers families the perfect setting to create memories and take in moments of peace. Yet, Vince says the location offers more than just incredible scenery. The community of Breckenridge has opened its hearts — and homes — to Domus Pacis and its mission. Vince explains that aside from his home, more than 100 other sites are available to host families for respite. 

Prior to opening Domus Pacis, both Vince, a former steel industry executive, and Duck, a senior vice president in information management, had never operated a nonprofit, let alone a respite organization. Still, their respective careers had afforded them strength in business and planning that proved vital in running their organization efficiently. Vince says one of the most challenging tasks was fundraising, an aspect of business neither he nor Duck had to consider during their corporate careers. 

Initially financed by themselves, Domus Pacis quickly grew, meaning fundraising was essential for hiring new staff and expanding. Support was slow at first, but Vince explains once they started building relationships and sharing their story, the community believed in their mission. Just like Vince and Duck, so many others had been touched by cancer and understood the importance of the nonprofit. Vince’s children have also played key roles in the mission and operation of Domus Pacis. His son, Nic, serves on the board, while his daughter, Sarah, was instrumental in working with referral partners as a social worker. “Seeing the kids mature and their different skill sets develop is amazing,” Vince says.

As a way to show appreciation to those who help to provide the gift of respite, Vince explains that each family who visits Domus Pacis is asked to write a thank you letter to the individuals who made their experience possible. He finds that the request is welcomed by the families, as they’re often overwhelmed with gratitude and want to share their story.

Domus Pacis means “House of Peace,” a name that Duck holds close to her heart. At her mother’s funeral, Duck sang a hymn with a verse asking the Lord to grant peace. Upon reflection, she realized their mission was to create a place of peace for families — a house of peace. Vince says anyone of any age or stage of cancer, including end of life, is welcome for a week-long respite. He explains that a seven-day stay allows families to take time settling in before beginning to make memories. Vince notes that family includes friends who have been part of the cancer journey as well. 

The process is initiated when a referral partner, like an oncology nurse, recommends a family for a stay. A lead family member must write a letter sharing his or her cancer journey and discuss his or her needs and wishes for the visit. Learning more about a family helps the Domus Pacis team to choose the right home for the stay and ensure the respite is specific for each family. Vince and Duck work with a community of businesses that help to make each respite special. Common requests include photography, massage therapy, horseback riding and fly fishing. Volunteers bring home-cooked meals to guests. Counseling is not provided; rather, Duck believes in allowing the breathtaking landscape and Spirit to guide conversations.

The experience of helping families escape the haze of cancer has opened Vince’s heart to the goodness that exists even amid uncertainty. The “quiet love that isn’t yelled or shouted” is what’s most moving for Vince to witness between the bond of family and friends. Throughout his years operating Domus Pacis, Vince has learned some remarkable lessons. “What you learn is so much more than what you give,” he says. “I am not afraid to die, and I wish for my family to surround me the way these families do.” He’s also come to know that God had a plan for him and his wife. 

In greeting and saying goodbye to every family that visits, Vince says he finds that many guests openly share their stories and express heart-felt gratitude for their time together. While each family has its own journey that fills the hearts of the staff at Domus Pacis, Vince remembers two visits in particular that touched him profoundly.

He recalls the time when a teenage daughter and her mother, who was battling terminal liver cancer, came for respite. Without a car of their own, Vince offered to drive them around Breckenridge to allow them time to see the beauty that surrounded them and talk. He says the conversations he overheard in the backseat of his car between the mother and daughter have never left him to this day. Vince also remembers the stay of an ailing husband and his wife. Upon arriving, Vince noticed that the husband was very ill. Out of an abundance of concern, he decided to stop by to check in. As he walked up to the door, he saw the couple together on the couch as the wife held her husband in her arms. Vince is still filled with emotion when he recounts this beautiful moment today.
 
As a student at St. Joseph High School and later the University of Dayton, Vince says it was the Marianist emphasis on service at both schools that provided him the foundation needed to consider the needs of others. He also remembers the impact of Brother O’Grady, his 10th grade homeroom teacher. As a shy, reserved sophomore, Brother O’Grady encouraged Vince to run for homeroom president, a gesture that helped to grow Vince’s confidence. Still filled with gratitude for Brother O’Grady’s support, Vince actually wrote him a thank you letter recently. Upon reflection, he realized it was the quiet confidence he acquired at St. Joseph High School that led him to many successes in his life.

For students feeling the pressure to choose a college, major or career, Vince offers some advice. “The key is that you have to quiet your mind. Find time by yourself to let the Spirit move you,” he says. He also advises young adults to be patient with themselves. For many, finding one’s purpose in life takes time. The concept for Domus Pacis came from life experience and reflection — a vision to serve others that took more than 20 years to manifest. For Vince, self-reflection is an ongoing process. Attending annual silent retreats affords him the opportunity to listen to his inner voice and talk more intimately with God. While away, Vince often goes to the chapel at night. “Chapel is powerful,” he says. “I go at night to quiet my mind and reflect.”

Through Vince’s and Duck’s hard work and dedication, the Domus Pacis Family Respite was named the Outstanding Nonprofit of the Year in 2011 by the Summit Foundation (Breckenridge, Colorado). As Vince looks to the future, he believes a new calling will soon manifest, and he says he’s ready to take on a new challenge. Feeling confident in their nonprofit’s success, Vince and Duck are slowly phasing out of their leadership roles in their organization knowing that others will continue to lead Domus Pacis. As a proud member of the Class with Heart, Vince White-Petteruti ’69 leads an exemplary life of service to others and shows us the transformative power of listening to one’s heart and trusting God’s plan.

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Volume 12, Issue 6, Posted 11:51 AM, 06.07.2020